


4000 Words

by SomePaperMoons



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora and Catra are American though, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bow is British, Bow wants to be a good friend but he's also tired and overworked, F/F, F/M, Human Catra (She-Ra), I wrote a self-insert fic about my work stress, so is glimmer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:22:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28945104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomePaperMoons/pseuds/SomePaperMoons
Summary: Bow has two 4000 word essays to do. Simple, right? Just avoid distraction, buckle down and get them written. Easy.Not so easy, apparently, if you live with two disaster lesbians who are pining over each other and need to make it your business.
Relationships: Adora & Bow (She-Ra), Adora & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow & Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra), Catra & Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 28
Kudos: 153





	1. Chapter 1

4000 words is not that long a piece of writing. In his final year, Bow would have to write a 20,000-word dissertation, so compared to that 4000 words on Colonial African Labour History isn’t actually that much of a slog. Do the reading, make the notes, plan it, then hammer it out over a few nights and submit it. Bosh. Done. Simple.

Well, it should be, but Bow had…distractions. Bow wasn’t easily distracted – he’d spent nearly a decade now learning to do work around Glimmer, for crying out loud. He could concentrate in a busy café, or on a crowded train. Hell, he’d once done a school project in Glimmer’s kitchen while she had a 30-minute screaming match with her mother. So why exactly was he still staring at the same article he’d opened to read an hour and a half ago?

Well, he had some ideas. It wasn’t Glimmer complaining about her mum – she was out at a lecture. Catra was also _somewhere_ , so it wasn’t her playing her Bass loudly that was preventing him from doing work. So if anyone was distracting Bow, who could it be?

“I’m so screwed,” Adora groaned from the other side of the kitchen table, where she sat staring dumbly at her laptop.

“Yeah, you are,” Bow muttered back, his eyes scanning the PDF for anything worth noting down.

“Like-“Adora peered closer at her screen, “-How do you do that, so effortlessly, and still be so-“

“Hogarth did not what he was doing,” Bow said flatly.

“Who’s Hogarth?” Bow looked up at Adora. “I-er I mean, sure! Yeah! Hogarth!” Her face was the same colour as the red jacket that was slung over her chair. “All that Hogarth stuff, so-“ Bow reached over and turned Adora’s screen around to see a tab open with a picture of-

“It’s not what it looks like!” Adora insisted. Bow flicked his eyes up to her, then back to the picture of Catra sitting on the wall outside the university Library doing her typical ‘I don’t care’ slouch, a cigarette poised between her lips while she slung her leather jacket over her shoulder in the evening light.

She looked slightly pleading, but also like she wasn’t going to deny it. Bow sighed. “Two things- “

“Two?”

He put a finger up. “One. Why are you browsing Instagram on your laptop like 55-year-old wine mum? “

Adora rolled her eyes. “Because you made me leave my phone in my room.” Bow nodded, then put his second finger up.

“Two, why are you looking at pictures of Catra instead of doing your essay notes?”

“I- I am doing the work! I was just taking a break!”

Bow gave her a tedious look. “A Break.” Adora nodded. “Is that why you’ve sat here for an hour and a half drawing love hearts on your notepad instead of reading about Late Georgian political Caricature?”

Adora bristled. “Love hearts?” Bow pointed to her paper pad, which was covered in large, flowery hearts with two names inside. It might have been upside down, but Bow didn’t need to read upside to know what the other name was. Adora’s face went red, and she ripped the page off the pad and rewrote the title on the next page. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Right,” he said, noting how instead of scrunching the paper up, she had folded it up carefully and slotted it underneath her laptop. She went back to staring at her screen, and after a moment of eyeing her suspiciously, Bow went back to his. The paper was due next monday, and frankly there wasn’t really the time to take half an hour out to relax here, let alone a minute to deal with whatever pining bu- _nonsense_ Adora was dealing with. Thankfully, she seemed to have got a bit of a grip on whatever-

“I don’t know what to do, Bow,” she whined. He clenched his jaw, biting back a comment.

“About what?”

Adora huffed. “About _Catra,_ obviously. I mean she’s just…”

“Our flatmate?” Bow suggested, playing dumb. Adora didn’t catch it, continuing her rant instead.

“But beyond that…” Adora’s American accent whined slightly as she became lost in thought.

“Beyond that?” Bow pushed. She sighed.

“I’ve known Catra for like, forever, Stateside, and we didn’t get on for a long time, but now we are, and we’re living together, and that’s great, but-“

“But you’d like to drag her into your bedroom, remove all her clothing and make sweet, loud, sweaty love to her up against our shared wall?” he suggested, twirling a pen in his hand.

“BOW!” she yelled. “You can’t say that!” He still didn’t look up from the article. _What ~~the Hell~~ in god’s name is a bazimyomwoto?_ “you-you-“

“Am I wrong though?” He said, scrolling up the page to read it again.

Adora pouted. “Why are you being so mean to me? What happened to happy, always supportive, best-listener-in-the-world Bow?” 

“He’s behind on his essays. You’ll have to deal with sleep-deprived, overworked, stressed out of his mind Bow for now.” He began rereading the last page, trying to focus, but absolutely nothing was sinking in. He sighed and closed his laptop, then looked up to see Adora staring wistfully out of the window at the construction site the other side of the street. “Go on then.”

“Go on?” she flustered. “Wha-what do you-“

“What were you going to say about Catra,” he encouraged.

She faltered. “Well-“

“Listen Adora,” he said, smiling slightly as he folded his reading glasses. “I know this is important to you, ok?”

“I- thank you Bow. I know you have work to get on with-“

“So do you,” he pointed out.

“I- yeah,” she blushed. “But I can’t really because-“

“Because you’re hung up on Catra?” Adora hung her head, less in shame than in defeat. “What’s different now?”

“Whaddaya mean?” She said, confused.

“Well,” he said, leaning back in his chair, looking around the little kitchen of their flat for the right words. _Should I make some coffee? I should make some coffee._ “I’ve seen you get hung like this up on Catra before. Like when all went to Amsterdam that time with the gang, and she was hanging out with Scorpia and Perfuma for those two days they decided to get stoned, so you sulked with me and Glimmer instead of asking if she wanted to do anything with you.”

Adora hid her face in her hands. “Please don’t remind me of that, _please,_ it was a year and a half ago _._ ”

What about that time at Crimson Waste when she went home with that girl, the one with-“

“ _Bow_ ”

“Or the _entire_ time she was dating Scorpia?”

Adora groaned. “Can you stop torturing me?” Bow resisted the urge to smirk. “Why are you bringing his up again?”

“Because this seems…different.”

“Is it?” she said. “I-I don’t know.” She looked away from him. Bow finished making his coffee (taking the opportunity to roll his eyes while Adora wasn’t looking), then turned back around.

She was still sitting at the Kitchen table, holding her patent ‘I’m thinking about how I’m going to lie to you even though I am physically incapable of lying’ face while staring at the laptop. “Ohhhhhhh.” He said, standing up and leaning against the wall with a sardonic smile. “This is about Cassandra, isn’t it. “

“No it isn’t!” she pulled the laptop shut forcefully and fixed her eyes on the stained spot on the wall where Catra the baked potato Catra had thrown at Glimmer half a year ago had left a permanent scar. “It’s just…”

“Just what?” Bow asked, as Adora turned in her chair to look at him.

“Just- she _always_ comments on all of Catra’s Instas, and she’s like, always the first person to comment.”

“That’s a bit stalker-y.”

“I know!” Adora huffed, “But she still does it! And Catra still replies! And it’s always so smooth and casual and flirty and I can’t handle it!” She opened the laptop again, softening slightly as the screen lit up again to show the same photo of Catra. “I just- she posts stuff like this, and it’s so pretty, and I want to tell her that – but in like a cool, suave, way,” she clarified, earning a scoff from Bow, “but then this _bitch_ gets their first with ‘ _Golden Girl for a Golden Hour_ and a couple of kisses on the end like a high school sophomore. And Catra laps it up!” Adora groaned, defeated. “I wanna do something Bow, but I’m scared and stupid and I can’t flirt.”

Bow mused for a second, his friend watching him with some expectation for some sage advice, even though he could recollect having this exact conversation three or four times. Maybe five. “It’s not like you and Catra don’t flirt,” he pointed out.

Adora raised an eyebrow. “We don’t flirt, Bow.”

“I’m sorry, every dinnertime in this household since she broke up with Scorpia has been Glimmer and I third wheeling you two.” She looked at him blankly. “Seriously? You haven’t noticed? All the smug looks, and the hand holding, and the late-night wine and Legend of Korra sessions?”

“That’s just how me and Catra are! It’s how we’ve been! I think,” she paused for a moment, thinking. “Anyway! That’s how I talk to you guys as well!”

“It is really not how you talk to me, or Glimmer.”

“Are you saying you and Glimmer don’t flirt with each other?” she shot back.

“We _don’t_ ,” he said sharply. “And if we did do it, we wouldn’t be so brazen about it,” Bow snarked, flopping down on the small sofa in the Kitchen. “We don’t lie with our head on the other person’s thighs and chat shit for hours.”

“You do cuddle though,” Adora sniped.

“That’s different,” Bow insisted, although he wished it weren’t. “Do you remember that time with the ladle?”

“What? That wasn’t flirting! That was fighting!” she flustered. Bow rolled his eyes.

“It was a form of flirting, Adora, even if you did end up with Broccoli soup in your hair. Somehow.” She huffed. “Whatever it was, it was certainly on the same level as, if not a higher level on the flirtation scale than slightly creepy Instagram comments.”

“But- wait, what flirtation scale? Can I see it?”

“Wha-“ Bow groaned. “It’s not a real scale Adora! It was a figure of speech!”

“Well, I’m _sorry_ Mr. Figure-of-speech man,” she muttered.

“Focus Adora! Have you never thought about whether you and Catra were always like this or whether this is new?” While she stared at the Baked-Potato spot and pondered, he poured himself some coffee. He took a moment to breath in the smell, smiling as the bitterness energized him...

“Well- I guess I was just glancing at high school and shit, but nothing after- well, you know.”

“I do,” Bow grumbled,

“Yeah, then she started talking to me again in Freshmen year. It was weird seeing her again, _here_ of all places – I mean what are the odds of running into your childhood best friend who you haven’t seen for four years at your first day on campus at college in _England?_ And I know that we didn’t get along for a while, but we do now, and it’s just been _nice_ to have some normality in my life, with Mara still not well and Hope being- well, Hope, having Catra back in my life has been good for me. I- er – haven’t had a lot of time to think about these feelings properly until they – er - happened.”

Bow sipped his coffee and resisted the urge to pick Adora up and tell her to get a grip. “But were they there _before_?”

She shrugged. “I…I guess? I don’t know! We were always fairly touchy-feeling back in school, except after her mum got all weird in middle school and then Catra hated me for… reasons,” Bow nodded, encouraging her to keep talking. “I mean, I’ve only been away that I had any proper feelings for her for what, three months? Four?”

“Seven.”

“Really?”

“That time in Regent’s Park?” Adora reddened, and Bow knew he was right.

“Fine,” she agreed, “but sometimes I can’t really tell what changed! Sometimes I nearly convince myself that it’s nothing then BAM she comes walking in in that Leather Jacket or something like this happens and my brain just ceases to function.”

“Aww, bless,” Bow mocked, patting her head, “the little disaster Lesbian is having a bit of a gay panic, is she?”

“Since when have you been so mean?” Adora groaned.

“Since I had two 4000-word essays to write,” he shot back. “Which reminds me,” he said, moving to sit back at his laptop, the eternal dread of getting back to his work already filling his mind. “I really have to get back to my work. It’s nearly 4:30, somehow.”

“4:30!” Adora stammered, eyes wide suddenly as she hurriedly closing her laptop and stuffing it in her bag. “Shit, I have to get to my art lecture!”

Bow snorted. “How did you forget?”

“I have a lot of classes. It’s what comes with being a triple May-JOR,” she said with a flourish and a _horrifying_ accent.

“We don’t have majors here, Adora. We’re sensible.”

She rolled her eyes as she stuffed more work into her rucksack and slung it over her shoulder. “Whatever, LanndAN boy. See ya later Bow!” she shot him two finger guns then sauntered out into the corridor.

“Don’t forget your phone!” Bow yelled after her, watching as she ran past the doorway to grab it from her room. He smirked, then looked back down at his essay. The door slammed in the background as he tried to read the passage again for the third time. “Wait, so they’re _Vampire Firemen?_ ” Bow snorted. “Lance would _love_ this.”

“Vampire Firemen?” Bow looked up to see Catra smirking at him from the kitchen doorway, leaning against the frame with her bag still slung over her shoulder. She was wearing what had been typical of her since the first time Bow had met her (specifically, the time he’d had to physically restrain Glimmer from breaking her jaw), her Black leather jacket slung over a red top and ripped jeans, finished off with a pair of battered combat boots that had probably been first worn before any of them had been born. “What the Fuck are you talking about?”

Bow winced. “Did I say that out loud?”

“Yup.” Bow groaned. “What’s that about? Sounds, y’know… cool. Too cool for a History nerd like you.”

“It’s for my essay.”

“Ahhhhhhhhh,” she said, elongating the word unnecessarily.

“Catra, are you drunk at 4:30 in the afternoon?”

“So?” She shrugged. “Just a few pints.” Bow suppressed an eye-roll, aware that the end result of Catra and Beer was her passed out on the Sofa before dinnertime where she would be woken by Glimmer clanging two pots together right above her head. “Anyway, I’m gonna have some toast so it’s fiiiine.” Catra sauntered into the towards him, her combat boots clunking on the kitchen tile as she chucked her bag onto the sofa.

“Uh-uh,” Bow warned. “No toast until you take your shoes off.”

Catra pouted. “Seriously, Bow? C’mon dude, I just want some Marmite.”

“Shoes off, _Elizabeth._ ”

“Fine, _Bernard_.” Catra stomped off into the corridor, grumbling about ‘stupid rules’, before suddenly Adora’s door slammed open and Bow heard the well-known sound of the Blonde girl colliding straight into Catra and knocking them both to the floor.

Now, normally, Bow had a routine for this. He would have immediately jumped to his feet to watch the two po-faced disaster lesbians dance around each other in their regular ‘I-don’t-like-you-but-if-I-see-you-with-other-people-I’ll-kill-them-in-their-sleep’ routine, with the significant looks and the beetroot-red faces and the snatched away hands and all that nonsense. Then, he’d take a photo of their red faces and send it to Glimmer. After that, he’d light-heartedly mock whichever one of them was still in the house for a few minutes before trying to convince them to tell the other party that they were deeply in love with them and had been for _at least_ a decade, accept their contrived excuse and get back to whatever he was doing. Today, though, he had absolutely no energy for that, or to listen to Adora/Catra’s complaining about Catra/Adora’s inability to see the truth of their love for each other.

Well, that was a lie, he’d already listened to Adora today, and it would be unfair _not_ to listen to Catra but – _work, Bow. Do the work._ He sighed and kept reading despite the commotion in the hall.

“Adora! What the hell!” Catra growled from the corridor. “Get off me you moron!”

“S-Sorry!” Adora flustered. “I was just-“

“Ow! Did you just try and prop yourself up using my _ass?”_

“No! Of course not! I was just-“

“Whatever.”

“I – er – how was your date with Cass?”

“Date? What do you mean, date?” Catra hissed. _Oh boy,_ Bow thought.

“Well, I thought you-“Adora started. “I mean-“

“What I do with my life is none of your business, _princess_.”

“I’m just trying to look out for you, Catra! You’re my friend and-“

“Well, if you’re my _friend_ , you can respect my privacy and go fuck off to your class, which you’re gonna be late for now.”

“But-“Adora stuttered.

“Why does it matter so much to you, huh?” Catra snarled. “It’s not you care!”

“I obviously care, Catra! I- listen, I have to go, but we’re not done here!”

“Uh, Yeah, we are,” Catra growled as she stomped back into the kitchen. Bow could sense Adora staring wistfully down the hallway before she eventually yanked the front door open and trotted down the stairwell.

The moment she was out of earshot, Catra let out a huge groan. “God, why is she like that?”

“No.”

“What?” She whipped round to glare at Bow.

“I don’t wanna hear it.” He tapped his laptop. “I gotta work here.”

“Listen, arrow boy, if you think for one second I want to discuss my love life with you again you’re in for a-“Bow didn’t hear the rest of that rant, because around that moment he pressed play on his _writing_ playlist, so all he could really see was the wild gesticulations as Catra complained about Adora while she popped her bread in the toaster and waved a knife around like a lunatic.

Part of him wanted to tune her out completely, but he was well away that he’d tune back in in time for the bit where she gave up acting like she was annoyed with Adora and became sad about the fact that Adora didn’t love her back. There was a strange clockwork to it. One might call it comforting if it wasn’t damaging your grades.

***

Bow, decidedly, did not like being awake at 1:35am. It wasn’t – well, it was of his own choice, really. He could’ve done the work after dinner, but Glimmer had wanted to watch Taskmaster and _how_ could he say no to that? He couldn’t. He _just_ couldn’t.

It had been a useful escape, really, considering how much a disaster dinner had been itself. While _this_ meal had been thankfully food fight free, it had been entirely taken up by the glowering competition Adora and Catra had had over their enchiladas, neither party talking until eventually Glimmer had made the mistake of asking Catra how her not-date date was.

At which point, after a lot of shouting, Catra finally made it clear that while _everyone else_ had known that Cassandra was asking her out, she hadn’t. Apparently. Which did absolutely nothing to mollify Adora’s mood, shockingly. At the time Glimmer suggested watching something, Adora had been about three minutes into the listing the reasons why Cass was a bad match for Catra (highlights include “YOUR NAMES SOUND TOO MUCH ALIKE” if you’re wondering) so the two of them slinking out of the kitchen had barely been noticed.

The yelling hadn’t stopped until halfway through the episode they’d started, Glimmer marking the occasion by wondering aloud if they were shagging on the sofa or the table (they were doing neither, having both slunk off to their respective rooms). Bow should have left then, but Glimmer was cuddling up to him, and it was warming in her room with her heated sheets and who was he to say no to Greg Davies and Alex Horne, right? That was why he kept watching until 11pm. Not the Glimmer cuddling thing. Never.

But Bow still had work to do. He’d promised himself he’d do _some_ more work tonight after dinner, and he wasn’t about to go back on himself now. So, here he was, at 1:35 (ish), with a textbook balanced on his knee, staring at his laptop, trying to figure out how to phrase a point about Trade Unionism without copying the book word for word, which was hard at 1 in the morning when you should be nearly asleep. But he was getting there, and he’d just realised that if he quoted from a source like _so_ he could-

You see, Bow would have finished that thought, and ploughed on with that paragraph it had not been for the odd noises that he heard for a second as his playlist changed songs. For a moment, he thought he’d made it up, but then he heard it again. This time, he took his headphones off, furrowing his brow as he sat in the eerie silence of his bedroom. He was about to pass it off when he heard it again. It was a low grumble, and for a second, Bow thought it was someone messing around in the kitchen – it wasn’t unlike Catra to stumble in from some party at 1 am and make some accursed array of food before leaving without cleaning up any of her mess.

The thing was, though, that Catra wasn’t out tonight. And more importantly, the noise wasn’t coming from the side of Bow’s room that shared a wall with the kitchen. It was coming from the other side of the room, the one that shared a wall with-

What the hell was Adora doing at 1 am? It wasn’t like Adora really _had_ a discernible sleep cycle, and she did have a habit of midnight runs, or midnight fires-in-the-microwave, but what in the name of ~~hell~~ all that is holy was this? It was beginning to sound like someone doing hoovering with a tiny hoover, or electric clippers. That sort of device. Hell, it even sounded like a-

Oh no. Bow whipped round to stare at the wall that separated him and Adora’s room, which was too thin to mask the sound of what was most probably- actually, no, he wasn’t going to let himself make the final mental leap there. Maybe if he didn’t assume, it wouldn’t be true. That’s how it works, isn’t it? He’d just made that up. _Adora_ wasn’t up to _that_ kind of thing, right? It wasn’t really how she operated. She was _far_ too straight-laced for that. Well, Adora wasn’t straight _anything_ , but whatever she was, she wasn’t whatever _this_ was. For a start, her and Catra had just had a fight. She wouldn’t be doing _that_ right afterwards, should he? If she was doing _that._ Which she wouldn’t be, obviously.

Yeah. Bow had just made it up. All was well. He would have dropped it completely if not for the low, guttural moan that echoed indecipherably though that far-too-thin wall.

What. The Fuck. Was that.

There was nothing for a second, as Bow sat frozen in position, his chair swivelled all the way around to face the incriminating white canvas. Then-

“Catra….” The voice moaned. The voice from Adora’s room. The voice that sounded like Adora. 

“More,” Adora moaned again, louder.

Bow threw the textbook at the wall.


	2. Chapter 2

**00:11**

**Catra:** Hey

 **Catra:** Bow

**00:28**

**Catra:** Dude are you awake

**00:45**

**Catra:** I can see the light underneath your door

 **Bow:** What do you want?

 **Catra:** Alright, geez, cool your tits dude

 **Bow:** I’m trying to write an essay here, Catra.

**Catra:** I thought u submitted your essay last week

 **Bow:** This is the other essay.

 **Catra:** Oh

 **Catra:** Lol

 **Catra:** Sucks to be you

 **Bow:** I’m inspired by your confidence in me.

 **Catra:** You’re welcome 😊

**Bow:** As I was saying,

 **Bow:** What do you want?

 **Catra:** Oh

 **Catra:** You free rn?

 **Bow:** …

 **Catra:** That’s not a no

 **Bow:** What part of ‘I’m doing an essay’ sounds like ‘I’m free?’

 **Bow:** Catra?

The door to Bow’s room crashed open.

“Shoes!” Catra half yelled as She threw Bow’s doc marten’s at him, the man barely catching them as he turned in shock.

“Catra!” he hissed. “What are you doing?”

“Giving you your shoes?” Catra said, giving him a _are you dumb_ look as she stood in the doorway in her trademark jacket and boots. Her “Axe-wielding combat lesbian” (Glimmer’s words, not his) had only been enhanced by her new haircut and the eyebrow slit she’d acquired since her last big argument with Adora two and a half weeks ago. She looked ready to go outside – or at least as ready as Catra always looked to go outside when the temperature was barely about 0 degrees.

“Why do I need my shoes?” Bow asked, already knowing the answer.

“…because we’re going outside?”

“ _We?_ ”

“Shoes on, Arrow Bow,” Catra snarked, trotting back out of the room. “Hurry up!”

Bow glanced back at the document on his screen, taunted by the low word count. _I could just ignore Catra but-_ no, that wasn’t going to happen, was it. She was up to something, and she needed help with it, and if there are two things that Bow is a sucker for, it’s mysteries and helping people.

***

“Get in the car,” Catra hissed when he finally found her standing in the street outside their flat. “We haven’t got long.”

“The car?” Bow queried. “You mean Glimmer’s car, right?”

“Yeah! Duh!” Catra groaned, gesturing at Glimmer’s Bright Pink Fiat 500. “Unless there’s another car to match this pair of sparkly glow in the dark keys?”

“Are those Glimmer’s keys?”

“Just-“ Catra chucked them at him and he caught them ungracefully. “Get it,” Catra sauntered over to the car and jumped in the passenger side, Bow getting in the driver’s seat on autopilot. It was only when he was in the seat, and he noticed the large steering wheel in from of him that he realised the problem.

“Catra?”

“What.” She had her nose buried in her phone.

“Why am I in the drivers’ seat?”

She didn’t look up, merely rolling her eyes. “Duh! Because you’re driving.”

“Catra.”

“What?”

“I can’t drive.”

“What?” _Now_ she looked up.

“I can’t drive a car, Catra.”

“You’re 21 and you can’t drive a car?” The tone was somewhere between shocked and mocking. Mainly mocking.

“I live in London. I have no need to drive a car.”

“What about grocery shopping?”

“I walk.”

“How do you get to parties?”

“On the bus.”

“Really?”

Bow rolled his eyes. “Catra, the last time you came to visit we all rode a bus into town, remember?”

“No.”

“You were already a bit drunk and you fell into Adora’s lap and-“

“Ok, ok, I remember _now_ ,” she huffed. “So you can’t drive.”

“Yes.”

“Then why are you in the driver’s seat?”

“Because you got in the passenger seat?”

Catra glared at him for a second, looking for any way for this not to be her fault, before groaning and opening the car door. “I’ll drive then.”

“But you’re not insured-“

“Get out of the car, _Bernard._ ” Bow obeyed, slotting himself into the passenger seat as Catra started the car and pulled it out of the space before he’d even got his seatbelt on.

“Catra!” he squealed. “ _Left_ side of the road!”

“I know!” she yelled back as she swerved the car onto the _correct_ side of the street before she turned onto the main road. “It’s fine, it’s fine, I only failed my driving test five times!”

“ _Five!_ ”

“Adora failed eight times!” Catra countered as she shot across a junction far above the limit. “Anyway, I can’t be as bad a driver as Sparkles, can I?”

Bow cringed at the thought. “No, that’s pretty hard, but at least Glimmer doesn’t shoot red lights!”

“Yes, she does!” Catra growled. “Anyway, we’re in a hurry.”

“For what?” Bow asked. “Where are we going?”

“We are going,” Catra said as she took a bend _slightly_ too fast. “To get Adora a present.”

“A present.” Bow said dubiously. “Why?”

“Because she’s upset with me and she gets all mopey and dumb when she’s upset with me and I don’t want her to be upset with me, so I’m getting her a present?”

Bow stared at her for a second. “Did you consider apologising to her?”

“Apologising? Who am I, Scorpia?”

“ _Catra.”_

“I _tried,_ Bow,” Catra sounded less offended now, and more defeated. “She didn’t want to listen. For fuck’s sake, she ran away!”

“I mean,” Bow sighed, realising that he was now about to give a 1 am pep-talk. “She’s a bit scared right now, Catra. Afraid. Maybe you overwhelmed her.”

“Afraid?” Catra snorted. “ _I’m_ afraid, Bow. I’m fucking terrified. I don’t get why Adora gave so much of a shit about – what’s her fucking name, with the stupid hair and the house her fucking dad pays for?”

“Cassandra?” Bow offered.

“Yeah, her, I didn’t realise Adora _cared_ so much that she was trying to get into my pants – I mean she wasn’t-“

“She was.”

“Shut up, I’m talking,” Catra had turned off the main road and was now making her way up another street of tenement flats, craning her neck to count the door numbers. “I didn’t realise Adora cared like that, I mean it’s not her business what I do in my bedroom. I don’t give a shit what _she_ does. It’s not like she _does_ anything in her bed anyway.”

Bow twitched but thankfully suppressed the memory before he physically shuddered. “Catra, have you ever asked yourself why Adora cares who you sleep with?”

Catra rolled her eyes. “Because she’s so nosy she has to know everything that goes on my life?” _So close, and yet so far._ “She treats me like such a fucking child! But she still doesn’t see how I feel about her.”

“I’m sure she will, Catra,” Bow reassured.

Catra scoffed. “Oh please, just cos you _know_ Glimmer has a huge fucking crush on you.”

“No, she doesn’t!” Bow insisted, aware he was blushing. 

“Glimmer adores you, Bow.”

“Yeah, but not like _that_.”

“Bow, she went Trainspotting with you. _Trainspotting!_ ”

“She said she enjoyed it!”

“No one enjoys Trainspotting Bow! Especially not at 5 in the morning! _Especially_ not in fucking Barrow in Furness!”

“I-Let’s get back on topic, shall we?” Bow was _not_ going to talk to a disaster lesbian about how much of a disaster bi _he_ was right now. Another time, maybe, but not right now. “I think you need to listen – _really_ listen to what Adora says about you. She really cares, Catra.”

“Why though? Why would I matter to her?”

 _Because she loves you?_ Bow prevented himself from saying aloud. “Adora cares a lot about you Catra because she lost you, and now she’s got you back, and she doesn’t want to lose you.”

“But I _don’t matter._ ” Bow glared at Catra. “Fine. I _do_ matter, but not to her. Not _like that_.”

“Well-“No _Bow. The Prime Directive applies to disaster lesbians as much as it applies to pre-warp worlds_. “I think you should try and talk to her anyway, Catra.”

“Yeah, I _know,_ Bow. That’s why I’m getting her a present.”

“What is the present, Catra?”

“Something Adora’s always wanted.”

“Catra, if you got her a _fucking_ horse-“

“Jesus, Bow! I didn’t get a horse!” Catra flinched as Bow swore out loud for the first time in 2 months. She went to snipe back, but her phone buzzed. “Hold the fort here, Arrow Bow” she said as she popped the door open and sauntered off towards one of the doorways. 

_Well, at least she’s not bringing an animal in here,_ he thought to himself as he fiddled with Glimmer’s car radio to get some music to play.

***

There was a dog outside the car. It was a cute dog – a massive, dopey looking golden retriever that was full to the brim of energy despite it being 1:30 in the morning. Now Bow was in two minds about this. The first, sensible, tired mind was trying to work out how in god’s name Catra had got her hands on a dog, and whether she had put any thought _any_ at all into the implications of just _giving_ Adora a dog.

The second, far more dominant mind was yelling about how gosh-darn cute this dog was, with his little wagging tail – DID HE JUST CLIMB INTO THE BACK SEAT ON HIS OWN? Oh my God this dog was amazing! Look how cute he looks sitting in the backseat while Catra buckles him in and-

_Bow. Dog. Vet Bills. Landlord. Be Sensible._

_But he’s so CUUUUUTE._

_Bow! Concentrate! Adult things!_

_But-“_

_**Bernard!** _

“You all right there, Crop Top?” Catra had clambered back into the driver’s seat. Bow looked at her, then at the _adorable_ dog in the backseat, then at her again.

“What is that, Catra?”

“It’s a dog, Bow,” she said matter of factly as she began the drive back.

“I’m aware it’s a dog.”

“Then why did you ask?”

“I – Why do you have a dog now?”

“It’s not for me. It’s for Adora.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I got it for Adora?”

“From a stranger’s flat?”

“What? No! I got it from DT!”

“But don’t they live in – nevermind. Why are you getting Adora a dog?”

“Because she always wanted one? And DT's friend was giving this guy away, and I saw my chance, so…” Catra shrugged. “I said I wanted to apologise, so this is…how.”

“Catra, we can’t have a dog.”

“Hey, it’s _Adora’s_ dog.”

“We live in a shared flat.”

“So?” Catra seemed nonplussed. “C’mon, Bow, look at that face and tell me you want me to turn around.”

Bow looked at the dog, like the sucker he was. _Goddammit, I’ve known you for five minutes and I’ll already die for you._ “Fine,” Bow drawled. “But if Adora doesn’t like it, or the Landlady complains, he’s-“

“He’s what, Bow?”

Bow hadn’t thought that far ahead. “Shut up and drive, Catra.”

***

Adora loved the dog because of course, she did. His name was Swift Wind now, as well, which was to be expected. He liked to chew Glimmer’s shoes and only Glimmer’s shoes. Something about the way they sparkled. The Landlady did not care one bit, but that was mainly because Razz was crazy. Not Bows words – Glimmers obviously. All in all, apart from Glimmer’s wrecked shoes, the muddy pawprints in the corridor and the complete mess Swift Wind had made of Adora’ duvet cover, it had been a complete success on Catra’s part. They were even talking now, even if the flirting had been superseded by a massive amount of Gay Panic from both parties.

An example of said panic had occurred earlier this morning when Bow had been trying to use the shower after getting back from the gym and instead had found Catra frozen in place at one end of the corridor, watching Adora flex in the bathroom mirror in time to a Rasputin Tiktok dance. You know the one, don’t pretend you don’t. Catra did, but she was paying far more attention to Adora’s back muscles. So much attention, in fact, that she didn’t notice Glimmer sneak up behind her until she whispered, “You useless fucking lesbian,” in her ear, which resulted in Catra jumping halfway across the corridor and smacking into the clothes hangar and toppling it over, leaving Bow and Glimmer laughing as she extricated herself from it as Adora poked her head out the bathroom, completely befuddled by it all.

It was quite mean, to be honest. But it was also funny. It was still funny enough to Glimmer that she was struggling to regale the story to Scorpia as she sat on the sofa, Catra glowering in the corner while she did.

“And- and then- she fucking _screeches_ like a cat, and Swift Wind-“

“That’s Adora’s new dog, right?” Scorpia asked, on the edge of her seat.

“Uhuh, and then Swift Wind comes flying – and I mean _flying_ out of his room and jumps on Catra, barking like mad and wrestling with her, and I – it fucking _broke_ me, Scorpia!” Glimmer was crying with laughter now – Scorpia was too, as well. Catra looked like she wanted to die. Bow was trying not to be as cruel as the other two, but – I mean, come on, it was hilarious. He could hardly keep working at the coffee table while _this_ was being retold, right?

“Yeah, yeah, we get it, I’m a disaster lesbian who’s yearning could be used to power a fucking city,” Catra moped as she sat on the kitchen counter. “It wasn’t funny for me, Glimmer, being covering in dog slobber and Adora’s underwear.”

“Oh, come on, Wildcat! You gotta see the funny side of this kind of thing!” Catra groaned.

“Yeah, _Wildcat,_ ” Glimmer teased, “You gotta see the funny side, right?”

“Can it, Sparkletits,” Catra growled. “Don’t you have dumb Physics shit to do?”

“Why would I bother with my lab reports when I could torment you and your _pining_?”

“I’m not the only-“ Catra stopped herself as Glimmer’s teasing turned into a glare. “Never mind. C’mon Scorpia, we have class.”

“We…do?” They did _not_ have class. Catra just needed to talk to Scorpia about Adora outside of the flat. Everyone knew that. Everyone but Scorpia, apparently.

“ _Yes,_ so come on,” she hissed, grabbing her massive friend and dragging her out of the kitchen.

“Oof! Oh! I guess- Bye Glimmer! Bye Bow!”

“Bye Scorpia!” Glimmer gleefully shouted after them as Catra slammed the door behind her. “You know Bow, living with Catra is far more fun than hating her.”

“Is it more fun than having a crush on her?” Bow cringed at his own comment, trying not to think of his own jealously during _that_ period.

Glimmer, thankfully, seemed not to have noticed due to her own embarrassment. “Shut up.”

“Shutting up,” Bow said with a grin.

“I mean, at least I got over that,” Glimmer said with a huff, the telltale sign that she was about to begin a rant, even though Bow was sitting on the sofa surrounded by several different articles and textbooks. “Adora though...”

“Adora won’t get over Catra,” Bow supplied with a grimace.

“More like _can’t_ ,” Glimmer said as she shoved the paper Bow was trying to note from aside and onto the floor. It was alright. Well, it wasn’t, but it was Glimmer, so he couldn’t complain. “God, why is she like this! She won’t shut up about it now! ‘Do you think Catra would like these kinds of flowers Glimmer? ‘Do you think she’d say yes if I asked her out to her face, or should I do a scavenger hunt?’ Ugh!” She threw her hands up in frustration. “It’s either that or the dog!”

“I only get dog talk these days,” Bow mused, still staring at the document whose word limited taunted him at a mere 2622 words. “Not sure if that’s better.”

“Adora avoiding you?” Glimmer asked, peering at the book she’d picked up (one of his, so god knows why she was looking) in lieu of getting her reading glasses.

“She remembered I heard her having a wank again today, so she needs to hide for a bit.”

“Thanks for fucking reminding me about that,” Glimmer groaned, flopping sideways so she was lying with her head on Bow’s chest, which he was perfectly fine with, thank you very much. No problems at all. Not here. “God, they really need to fuck, don’t they?”

“…is that a solution?” Glimmer looked irritated Bow hadn’t immediately agreed with her. “I mean, I’m not entirely sure that a drunken night of passion will help them at this stage. It’s a bit too delicate for that.”

“No, I didn’t mean like _that_ ,” Glimmer corrected. “I meant-“she gestured around with her hands. “-like, if they had a talk, a _proper_ talk, and _said_ talk ended in a long snog and then some passionate lovemaking – preferably when I’m not in the _building_ – then _maybe_ they’d stop being so horny for each other and be sensible.” She snorted in frustration. “I _really_ fucking hate it when idiots dance around their feelings for each other.”

“Yeah…” Bow said, unable to prevent his nervous voice crack. “It’s, erm-“he forced himself to stop thinking about it felt having Glimmer in close contact with him. “It’s quite something, isn’t it?”

“Uhuh,” she huffed, somehow oblivious to Bow’s state of panic. “Still, one can hope.”

Bow raised an eyebrow. “That they’ll have sex?”

“Well, that’d be a _start_.”

***

It was quiet tonight. Glimmer would say _too_ quiet (and had done so at dinner) but Bow _really_ wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth here. Both Catra and Adora were out as well. Catra had a gig with her and Scorpia’s band, while Adora was out with the Lacrosse team. Both were recipes for messy returns to the flat (Catra usually with *someone* hanging off of her, Adora using hanging off of one of her teammates who would apologetically dump her in her room before leaving), but so far the night had been uneventful.

Hell, as far as Bow knew, both partners in crime had returned from their evenings of revelry intact – well at least he _thought_ Adora was back. He’d heard Catra kick her door open in her usual fashion, so she was home at least. But frankly, it didn’t matter. It was quiet. Sure, Catra and Adora were barely talking to each other between their Gay Panics, and he still hadn’t got this essay above 3065 words, but still. His phone wasn’t even buzzing every minute (thank god Mermista had taken Seahawk’s phone off him), so he’d actually go some more work done. At least that was the plan before his phone went off again. _Seahawk, what have you_ \- it was Glimmer. Why was Glimmer texting? If Glimmer wanted to talk, she’d just barge into his room. He opened the message.

 **Glimmer:** U up

 **Bow:** Yes?

 **Glimmer:** Oh thank FUCK

 **Bow:** What’s up?

There was no answer after that, but a few seconds later Bow heard the distinct sound of Glimmer’s angry shuffled pattering across the corridor before he was startled by the door slamming open to reveal a slightly haggard, pink-haired bundle of joy (ok, it was mainly fury right now, but Bow preferred to focus on the joy her felt when he saw Glimmer) standing in the doorway

“Those goddamn fucking _lesbians_!” Glimmer hissed, shuffling into Bow’s room in her Purple sparkly slippers and her Pink and purple pyjamas, her sleep mask sparkling in the dim light of your room. Bow stared at her curiously as she slowly, but deliberately closed the door behind her, making sure it was shut before shuffling furiously across the floor over to his bed.

“…Hi Glim?” He offered. “What’s up?”

“They’re _fucking_ Bow!” She whisper-shouted. “In our flat!”

“Firstly, who? And secondly, what are they f- doing in our flat?”

Glimmer glared at him. “How are you so stupid? Well, no, you’re not stupid, you’re kind and clever and innocent and just a massive cinnamon roll who is far too pure for the terrifying world we live in. That’s different.”

“…thank you?” Bow said an unsure smile on his face as Glimmer half-beamed back at him. “You still didn’t answer the question.”

“Do I actually have to-“Glimmer rolled her eyes. “Can you not _hear_ them?” she hissed.

Bow shrugged. “It’s been pretty quiet though. Adora hasn’t even knocked something over in her room like she usually does when she’s completely pissed.”

Glimmer glared at him. “Have you not considered _why_ drunk Adora has been noticeably quiet? Or why there has in fact been _no noise at all_ from her room?”

“Well-“ Bow decided, in an uncharacteristic activity for sleep-deprived Bow, to think first before speaking (he was far, far, far better at this when he’d actually slept properly). “She’s not _in_ her room is she?” Glimmer stared at him. “I only got half of it didn’t I?”

“If she’s not in her room, then she’s” Bow blinked. “She’s in Catra’s room!”

“If the noises I heard are anything to go on, she’s _inside_ Catra as well.” Glimmer sounded both gleeful and horrified at that pun.

“I sincerely doubt they’re actually having sex, Glimmer,” Bow argued, somewhat unconvincingly. “They’re probably talking it out, right?” _Right? Please can I be right?_

“No! They’re fucking, Bow! Canoodling! Shagging! Taking a long walk down lovers’ lane!”

“That last one isn’t a real euphemism.”

“It’s what my dad says ok!”

“Ok,” Bow said, trying not to wonder what circumstance Glimmer and Micah would be talking about that. “But- I don’t they’re having sex, especially not right now. They’re far too angry with each other for that, right?”

“Well-“ Glimmer was interrupted by a muffled scream that echoed through two closed doors, making both of them jump before it mellowed into a quieter, but far more terrifying moan. A very, very, loud moan.

“You SEE!” Glimmer seethed. “They’re FUCKING!”

“Yup.”

“In OUR flat!”

“I gathered,” Bow added, trying not to think about the fact he could just about hear Catra asking for ‘more’ through the door. “Didn’t we want them to have sex?”

“Yes, but _love_ sex, not _drunk hate sex._ ”

“There’s a difference, right?”

“Duh.”

“Huh.” Bow mused on that for a second. “I mean, it is their flat too, Glimmer. They can have whatever kind of sex they want.”

“Sure, but they could be quieter.”

“I mean it’s not that loud.”

“You don’t share a wall with Catra.”

“Fair.” Bow looked across at Glimmer, who was pouting in disgust as she eyed the doorway menacingly. “Is…this why you’re here?”

“Oh! Yeah! Erm-“Glimmer looked suddenly sheepish. “Would I be ok if I…staythenightinheresoIdon’thavetolistentothemhatefucking?” She looked surprisingly worried that he’d say no. “I can use your sleeping bag and sleep on the floor or-“

“Relax, Glim. We’ve shared a bed before,” Bow said, ignoring the fact that his heart was now beating _very_ rapidly, and his stomach was doing its best impression of a high-diver. “Just get comfortable try not to think about-“a low moan reverberated through the wall “-that.”

“That’s the plan,” she said with a grin, throwing Bow’s neatly folded duvet open and immediately covering herself with it. “Oooh, your bed smells like lavender.”

“It always smells of lavender, Glimmer.”

“Yeah, but now _I_ smell of lavender,” she shot back. Bow couldn’t help but smile, and hope he wasn’t blushing so hard. _Dang it Glimmer, why do you have to look so cute all wrapped up like that._

“Bow!”

“Yes?”

“Get in the bed!” Glimmer pouted at him. “It’s too comfy for you not to be in it.” Bow giggled, and acquiesced, sliding into the other side of the bed. “That’s more like it. No dumb lesbians to get in the way.”

“Yeah,” Bow replied, trying to calm himself down as Glimmer fiddled with his bedside lamp. _This is fine. This is fine._ “Well, at least they’re quiet now.”

“Hm.” Glimmer was silent for a second as she turned to hug Bow from behind. “Can you hear the vibrator or is that just me?”

Bow groaned. “Not _again.”_


	3. Chapter 3

Glimmer sighed as she moped into the kitchen. “Adora’s upset.”

“How can you tell?” Bow asked sarcastically. Bow didn’t do sarcasm. But he also didn’t do sad-lesbian induced sleep deprivation, which he had been enduring for 5 days at this point. 5 days made it sound short. It had not been short.

“She’s listening to _Driver’s License_ on Repeat.”

Bow gave Glimmer a tedious look as Olivia Rodrigo’s chorus blared through the kitchen for the tenth time in the last half hour. “I noticed.”

“Yeah,” Glimmer said, trying to ignore the way Bow’s left eye twitched, "but she also told me she’s thinking about getting an eyebrow piercing.” Bow groaned.

“When is this gonna end?” he wondered, staring desperately at the ceiling.

“When she goes to the gym, presumably.”

“I was thinking of a more permanent solution?”

“…we could change the locks?” Bow snorted, earning a chuckle from Glimmer. “Seriously though, we should probably talk to her.”

“Should we?”

Glimmer looked at him like he was mad. “ _Yes?_ ”

“I _tried_ , Glimmer.”

“Did you?”

Bow nodded, then frowned. “Well, I tried to talk to Catra. When she came back from Scorp’s to grab some of her stuff.”

“What happened?”

Bow sighed. “She glared at me and said ‘I refuse to be lectured at by a man in a yellow waistcoat’.”

“Oh come on!” Glimmer huffed. “You look cute in that! And anyway, it’s mustard coloured.”

“Missing the point, Glim.”

“So, Catra didn’t listen,” Glimmer began, as she started quickly pacing around the room as she usually did when she was about to come up with a hair-brained scheme that would end in disaster. It was cute. “And presumably she’s said nothing to Scorpia or Perfuma for the whole 5 nights she’s been crashing on their sofa.”

“Well if she did, we’re not gonna find out are we?” Bow pointed out. “Getting Perfuma to give up information is like getting blood from a pot-addled stone.”

“Harsh.”

“Glimmer, I’ve had four hours of sleep.”

Glimmer cringed. “Fair.” From the corridor, the sound of Driver’s License being played again (at a substantially louder volume) interrupted their thoughts, earning groans from the pair in the kitchen. “For the love of-“ Glimmer went to storm out, but Bow grabbed her and pulled her down on the sofa next to him. “ _Bow!_ ”

“Remember the Prime Directive, Glimmer,” Bow said, trying to sound like he had had anything close to a good night’s sleep.

“But this is so _dumb,_ Bow,” she complained. “They’re both just sulking because they’re too scared the other person might reject them. It’s stupid. They _must_ know they’re equall as fucking whipped.”

“It’s not as easy a thing to figure out as you’d think,” Bow grumbled. “You have to let people figure out these things in their own time, otherwise bad things might happen.”

“What could be worse than-“Glimmer paused as they realised there was _silence_ in the flat. “Wait, the music stopped.” Bow’s ears pricked up for a second. Respite?

_You run around town like a fool and you think that it's groovy_

_You're giving it to some other guy_

_Who gives you the eye_

_You don't give nothing to me_

“Billy Ocean,” Glimmer groaned. “Oh my fucking god.”

_You painted a smile and you dress all the while to excite me_

_But don't you know you're turning me on?_

_I know that it's wrong_

_But I can't stop the pain inside me_

Bow took a long, deep breath as Glimmer screamed into a pillow.

_Baby, love really hurts without you_

_Love really hurts without you_

“Oh my god,” Glimmer said. “It’s getting _louder_.”

“RIGHT!” Bow yelled, “THAT’S IT!” He stood up, taking a deep breath. “GLIMMER, GET THE SWEAR JAR.”

“Wait-“Glimmer stared at him in horror. “Does that mean?”

“I cannot, _cannot_ deal with this for another _day_ if it’s going to be Billy fucking Ocean for 20 hours at a _fucking_ time.” Bow stomped over to Adora’s door and knocked loudly, cringing at how loud it was here, let alone in the room itself. “ADORA?”

_You walk like a dream and you make like you're queen of the action_

_You're using every trick in the book_

Bow thumped on the door again. “ADORA MARLENA GRAYSKULL!” The music cut out abruptly and the door swung open to reveal Adora, and _now_ Bow felt bad. She looked shattered. More shattered than he did, which was unsurprising considering how much she (thought she) had blown it with Catra. The bags under her eyes were as big as his. She did not look like she was having a good time at all.

Which wasn’t a surprise.

“Hey,” she said sheepishly. “w-what’s up?” She looked on the verge of crying.

“Can- can Glimmer and I have a chat?” he tried to sound empathetic (because he was) but it wasn’t easy.

I apparently worked. “I mean- I have work to do-“ Bow didn’t comment on the papers that were strewn haphazardly across the floor of her room along with several photos of Catra.

“ _Please._ ”

“…sure, just for like five minutes but-“ she yelped as Bow dragged her by her arm into the kitchen and plopped her onto the sofa, shutting the door behind him.

He watched her fiddle awkwardly with her hands. “Hi, Adora.”

“Hi, Bow. Hi Glimmer. I -is about the music?”

Glimmer groaned. “Duh!”

Bow frowned. “Partially.”

“Partially?”

“It’s also about _Catra_.”

“What about-“ Adora blushed. “I’ve done nothing wrong!” Glimmer rolled her eyes. “What! I haven’t! I’m the one who-“ Adora frowned. “Y’know, _left_. Well technically I did leave but that was another time and-“

“Adora, you should talk to her."

“About what?” Adora looked morose now. “She’s made it very clear how much she doesn’t want to be here. To be near me.” She buried her face in her knees, hiding her eyes. Bow exchanged a glance with Glimmer, passing silent conversation with their eyes.

Glimmer won.

“Oh, Adora,” she said with a sigh, hopping off the country to slide next to her on the couch and give her a hug as sniffles sounded from behind her knees. “It’s gonna be alright, I promise.”

“How? She’s gone! I had my chance and I-lost it and I’m just _sitting_ here.”

Bow had sat down the other side of her and had put an arm around her as she continued to cry quietly. “Adora, listen. Catra didn’t run away because she was ashamed, did she?”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, I am,” Bow confirmed, despite the _what the fuck are you doing_ glare Glimmer was giving him. “She’s just…scared?”

“W-why would she be scared? Catra’s never scared of anything!” Well, _that_ just wasn’t true, but Bow couldn’t say that.

Could he?

No, he couldn’t.

“Well,” he tried, trying to grab a coherent, helpful thought instead of a snarky comment (there were a lot more of those ready to go than usual) “why are you scared?”

“Why am I-“ Adora looked up for a second, her eyes red with tears as she wiped her nose on her sleeve. “Well- I dunno- we were getting somewhere I thought, then I made a mistake and-“she buried her face in her in her arms and wailed. “Now she’s not coming back!”

“Aw, honey,” Glimmer soothed, pulling Adora into a deeper hug. “She’s got to come back.”

“Why would she?” Adora moaned.

“All her stuff’s here?” Bow shot Glimmer a _not helping_ look, getting a _you do something_ back.

He sighed “She’s not here because she’s just as scared as you are right now. You two made a big step when you- when you-”

“When you fucked?”

“Thank you _Glimmer,_ ” Bow grumbled. “When you- did that-“

“Fucked,” Adora supplied.

“-yeah, it was new. It was scary. It was something that you had wanted to do for a long time, right?”

“Yeah? I guess? I never really thought about it that much.” Glimmer snorted. “Ok, maybe I had thought about it.”

“And when it actually happened, how did you feel about it?”

Adora slumped back on the sofa. “Like I’d made a huge mistake.”

Glimmer sighed. “Well, firstly, you haven’t made a mistake.”

“Secondly,” Bow continued, “don’t you think that Catra felt that way as well?”

“Well, yeah! Why would she have left!” Adora rolled her eyes. “Christ, Bow, keep up.”

 _Nearly there,_ he thought as he twisted a grimace into a supportive smile. “How do you feel now?”

“Now? I- I- feel like I want to tell Catra- tell her that I-“

“That you…”

“I dunno. That I’m sorry. That I don’t want us to be separate anymore.”

“What else?”

“I dunno. That I might have been drunk, but that night _meant_ something? That’s allowed, right?”

Bow nodded. “Of course! If it matters to you, it matters.”

“Ok, well I’d tell her that. And that she means something to me. She always has.”

“What else?” _C’mon,_ Bow urged, _you can do it!_

“That I…” she sat up slightly, more confident. “That I don’t want to ever leave her again. That I want that feeling I felt when I woke up next to her for the rest of my life. that-“

Glimmer gave Bow a _We’re in the money now!_ Face as Adora froze in an expression that was either a) horror or b) excitement.

Probably a bit of both.

“What is it, Adora?” Glimmer asked.

“Glimmer,” she swallowed nervously. “I think that-“ Adora paused for a second, her eyes wide.

“That?”

Adora was still gaping like a goldfish between the two of them. Glimmer gave Bow a _is she broken?_ Look. He sent a _Give her a bloody minute_ one back as Adora’s eyes went about as wide as dinner plates. “Oh shit.”

“What is it, Adora?”

The blonde looked excited. Or terrified. One of the two. “I need to tell Catra something.”

Bow leaned forward, smiling. “What do you need to tell her, Adora?”

“ThatIloveherandkindofalwayshaveandicanthideitanymore?”

Bow frowned. “Again, but…slower?”

“No, Bow, I think we know what she meant.”

“I didn’t-“

“MOVING ON,” Glimmer said. “So, we know how you feel about Catra.”

“I Love Her,” Adora breathed, almost panting. “Holy shit I love her.”

“Yes, we know but-“

“Shut up Glimmer, I Love Catra, that’s more important.”

Glimmer scowled. “I’m aware, but-“

“I LOVE CATRA!” Adora yelled, standing up on the sofa and bouncing on her heels with excitement as Glimmer pumped her fists like a madman. “I LOVE CATRA! HEY GUYS, I LOVE CATRA!”

“We know, Adora!” Bow yelled back. “We’re very proud of you but will you sit down, please!”

“Never! I’m in love Bow!”

“SIT DOWN!” Bow and Glimmer yelled together

“Fiiiine”, Adora moaned as she slumped back into a seating position like a stubborn child.

“Now,” Glimmer said in an eerily similar fashion to her mother. “Now we know that you love Catra,”

“Yeah, I do!” Adora said, pointing at herself.

“Are you gonna tell her or?” Glimmer gestured around with her hands as Adora went as white as a sheet. “Yeah, you hadn’t thought that far ahead had you.”

“I- I can’t tell her,” Adora babbled. “She can’t know! She CAN’T!” Adora jumped out of her seat for a second before Bow and Glimmer hauled her back down (no easy feat, as you can imagine).

“Settle down for a second,” Bow said gently. “Why not?”

“Because she won’t feel the same way back?” Bow and Glimmer glanced at each other. “What? There is no way she won’t!”

“Why not?”

“I’m just her friend! She doesn’t care about me!”

Bow suppressed a groan. “Adora, she bought you a dog!”

“So?”

“I didn’t buy you a dog!”

“You got me hiking boots.”

“That’s not a dog though,” He pointed out.

“I mean-“

Bow took Adora’s hands in his and looked her in the eyes. “Catra really cares about you. I promise you, she does. Just tell her how you feel.”

“But what if she laughs at me, or throws me out or-”

“You won’t know until you try,” he said with a smile. “Be brave, Adora. You’re in Love. Love is about Bravery.”

She smiled at that. “Yeah. I can be brave. I can tell Catra I love her. I am going to tell Catra I love her. I am going to tell her _right now!_ ” Glimmer whooped as Adora stood up triumphantly and marched out into the corridor and shoved her shoes on. “I am going to see Catra, and when I do, I’m going to tell her I love her! And it’s going to be great, and happy, and we’re going to-“ she paused at the doorway. “Where is Catra?”

“Well-“

“Scorpia’s,” Glimmer said breezily, ignoring the despairing look on Bow’s face. “Go! Profess your love! You can do it!”

“I will!” Adora said, running over to hug them tightly before running back to the door. “I LOVE CATRA AND I’M GOING TO TELL HER THAT!”

“You go, you crazy lesbian!” Glimmer yelled after her as she pounded down the landing, the door slamming behind her. “There’s like a 30% chance Catra kills her, isn’t there?”

Bow sighed. “Probably.”

“At least we didn’t need the swear jar.”

“Well…” Bow pulled his phone out and dialled a number, placing the swear jar and pile of coins in front of him as he sat back down on the sofa.

“ _Hi Bow! Oh, erm Hi Bow Archer, Flatmate of Adora!”_ Scorpia sounded very chirpy, in that way she does when she’s trying to be subtle.

“Hi Scorpia.”

“ _Hi! How are you? You had a busy term? You still have that job at the Archery centre?”_

“Can you hand the phone to Catra, please?” There was a squawk from the phone that sounded very much like someone screaming, pushing a phone out of someone’s hand, then vaulting over a table and running into a closet and locking the door.

Then again, he could be wrong. Catra could have run into a bathroom. “Everything alright there, Scorpia?”

_“I -er, oh dear, the screen’s cracked, I mean we’re fiiiine, absolutely fine, nothing’s wrong here at all. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”_

“So can I speak to Catra?”

 _“Catra? Who’s Catra?”_ Glimmer groaned and planted her face into the Kitchen table.

“Scorpia, It’s important.”

“ _Gee, Bow, I know you care, but I did promise Catra – who isn’t here, by the way- that I would let ‘crop-top and sparkles try and guilt her into coming’ back._ ”

“I’m not going to do that. I just want to talk to her.”

“ _I mean, I can understand that, but I- oh, Perfuma want’s to say hello. Bye for now!”_

“Bye, Scorpia,” Bow muttered, giving Glimmer a _give me strength_ look. Glimmer, for her part, was currently carving and F into a Banana with a biro to calm herself, which was…something.

“ _Hello, Bernard.”_ Perfuma did _not_ sound happy. “ _Can I ask why you’re calling?_ ”

Bow sighed. “I would like to talk to Catra.”

“ _I don’t think she wants to talk to you, or anyone from your flat right now. Nothing you’ve done, just-_ “ Perfuma let out an exasperated sigh. _“I don’t think she’s in the right headspace right now to deal with you guys. You’re too close to Adora and she isn’t ready for that yet.”_

“She better be fuckin’ ready,” Glimmer muttered as she began work on the U.

“ _I’m sorry?”_ Perfuma’s tone was somewhere between confused and furious now.

Bow gave Glimmer a _thanks a bunch look_ as she shrugged at _not my fucking fault the call’s on speaker is it?_ back.

“Adora’s on her way over.”

“ _…excuse me?”_

“Adora’s on her way-“

“ _Bernard. What part of ‘don’t tell Adora Catra is at out flat’ did you not understand?”_

“Hey!” he protested. “I didn’t tell her!”

“ _Who did?”_

“I did,” Glimmer supplied as she finished the U and moved onto the C.

“ _Gwyneth Michelle-“_

“It needed to be done, ok! Adora had just realised she loved Catra, Jesus!” Glimmer pointed the banana threateningly at the phone.

 _“Well. That does change things.”_ Perfuma sounded less agitated, but somehow more worried. “ _Maybe Catra should be prepared._ ”

“No kidding,” Bow muttered.

“ _Give me a second_ ,” Perfuma said, muting Scorpia’s phone. Bow took a deep breath as he readied himself.

“You ok?” Glimmer looked up from where she’d started carving the K in the Banana skin.

“I’m fine, just, y’know, psyching myself up.”

“You’ll do fine,” Glimmer reassured him with a smile.

“Thank you,” he said earnestly.

“ _What._ ” Catra sounded exhausted, which was fair, considering she’d been sleeping on a tiny couch for five days.

“Hi Catra, how are you?”

_“Fine. Whatever. What do you fucking want.”_

“You to be ready.”

“For what?”

“Adora’s gonna be there in about- five, six minutes?”

Silence for a moment. “ _Bow I am going to FUCKING KILL YOU-“_

“Calm the _fuck_ down for a moment Catra,” yelled back, pausing to drop a coin into the jar with a _Clink!_

“ _Bow, I can’t talk to her. I can’t! You fucking **know**_ _I can’t!”_

“Oh get a _fucking_ grip, Catra.” _Clink!_ “You can’t keep fucking-“ _clink!_ “-hiding from her just because you are too fucking-“ _clink!_ “scared to tell her the truth.”

_“I *can’t* tell her Bow. It’ll destroy her!”_

“Oh you have to be shitting me- Catra, you don’t know that. You can’t know that. Because you won’t _fucking_ try and find out. Maybe if you do, it won’t be as shit as you seem to think it’s going to fucking be.” _Clink! clink! clink! clink!_

_“But what if-“_

Bow sighed. “You’ve been at Scorpia and Perfuma’s for what, a week now? Five days? What exactly have you done?”

 _“I did some yoga yesterday._ ”

“Apart from that?” Bow didn’t wait for an answer. “You sat on your ass and moped about how Adora hates you now.”

“… _I’m not wrong, am I_? _Why would she like me now? I fucked her, then I ran away, and she’s not gonna want to be in a room with me now, let alone live with me.”_

“Catra, have you ever considered she wanted to fuck you?” _Clink!_

“ _Is that the swear jar? I thought you guys were joking about that.”_

“FOCUS!”

“ _Why would she want to fuck me! She doesn’t like me. Not like that. We’ve been over this. My feelings don’t matter.”_

Bow frowned, trying to hide his longstanding sympathy with _that_ sentiment. “I’m sure Perfuma has given you the whole ‘opening up is hard but it’s worth it’ shtick, so all I’m gonna say is that-“ Bow looked up at Glimmer who was watching him intently. “Love is scary, Catra. Really fucking scary. But that’s why it’s worth it. You gotta try cos other you’re just a dumb fuck listening to Hayley Kiyoko alone in a car.” _Clink! Clink!_

“ _I don’t listen to Hayley-“_

“Focus, Moron!” Glimmer yelled. “You’re scared! Adora’s scared! But you’re not gonna get anywhere hiding from each other being miserable. Be honest with each other, and please god for _once in your life_ don’t run away from it because it’s hard.”

There were a few seconds of tense silence, broken only by Catra’s laboured breathing down the phone. “ _Anything to add, Crop Top?”_

“Pay for a Scorpia’s new phone screen.”

“ _Fine._ ” Catra sighed. “ _Listen, I’m sorry. I really am. It’s just-“_

“You don’t want to lose what you already have, “ Bow said. “I know, It’s hard. But I- we-“

“Ehhh,” Glimmer frowned.

“ _We_ believe in you Catra. Go get your fucking girl.” _Clink!_

 _“Calm down, Sparkles, it’s not like we’re going to-“_ Catra stopped as muffled noises came from outside the closet/bathroom she was hiding in. “ _Gotta go. Thanks, guys. I think.”_

The call rang off, and Bow slumped back onto the sofa, running his hands over his face with exhaustion. “That went better than I thought.”

“Well done, I think?” Glimmer shrugged. “Fuck Banana?” she offered him half the banana she’d been carving into. Bow took it. “What do you think they’ll do ?”

“Talk? Hopefully?” He thought for a second. “I hope they have a conversation about it, instead of yelling their love for each other at the same time like they're in a rom-com.”

“I thought you liked Romcoms?” Glimmer whined.

“I do, but can you imagine those two in a romcom? Coffee Shops? Fake Dating? Ugh, don’t give them ideas.”

Glimmer grimaced at him. “Real life was bad enough.” She inspected the banana skin she’d carved fuck into, before flinging it into the bin. “What if they fuck in Scorpia’s bathtub and fall asleep in it?”

Bow shuddered. “Perfuma would have a fit. Then again, it wouldn’t be our problem anymore.”

“True.”

***

Bow’s essays were finished. Like, _actually_ finished, as opposed to sitting on his hard drive waiting for Glimmer to read them and tell him how wonderful they were. They were submitted, and sent, and done and dusted. It felt good.

Not quite as good as finally getting the lesbians in a room together, but still good. Glimmer was certainly pleased with both outcomes, and she made a mock toast with her pink gin as Bow sent the final essay (a hellish study of Victorian Imperialism he never wanted to touch again) and he shut his laptop with satisfaction, slumping back onto the sofa.

“It’s _over_!” he yelled. “Whoo!”

“Until exams,” Glimmer reminded him.

“ _Fine,_ It’s over until exams!”

“Whoo!” Glimmer added for him. “Actually, that’s a bit less satisfying isn’t it.”

“That’s why I didn’t say it, Glimmer, he chastised.”

“Fine,” she groaned as she sat down next to him. “What now?”

He shrugged. “Wait til Catra and Adora-“

“Catradora-“

“Catradora get back, make fun of them, then get drunk?”

“Bernard Olaudah Wilbur Archer? Drunk? On a Thursday night?” Glimmer feigned show. “My God, what has the world come to.”

“Why, it’s a special occasion, my dear _Gwyneth_ ,” Bow said with a smile. “For the lesbians are finally together.”

“I’ll drink to that,” Glimmer accepted, chugging her pink gin a _little_ too quickly for 5:53 pm. “I wonder when they’ll come back.”

Bow thought for a second. “I mean, presumably whatever they were going to do-“

“fucking-“

“-they’ve gone by now, so…soon?” He shrugged. “Presumably before dinner.”

“Unless they’ve fallen asleep in the bathtub.”

“For the last time, they’re not going to fall asleep in the bathtub. If they did, Surely Scorpia would have called us.”

Glimmer raised an eyebrow. “Why would Scorpia call us?”

“Because she wouldn’t know what to do, and Perfuma would be too busy having a fit to be rational about it?”

“Hmph.” The Pink haired girl thought for a second. “Well, she hasn’t called yet so-“She yelped as her phone buzzed. “Oh, it’s Scorpia.” She frowned at Bow. “Should we-“

“Answer the call, Glimmer.”

“ _Hi, Glimmer!”_ Scorpia sounded…worried. _“You haven’t, I dunno, gotten a text or a call from Catra or Adora, have you?”_

Bow sighed. “What happened, Scorpia!”

“ _Well, they-it’s kind of complicated.”_

Glimmer groaned. “Did they, by _any_ chance, fuck in your bathroom then fall asleep together?”

“ _Oh wow, gee, that’s- that’s right on the ball! Wow, how did you figure that out?”_

“Random chance.”

“ _Huh, well maybe they’re awake now and-“the_ was a pause as muffled noises came from the background. Bow and Glimmer exchange glances as what sounded a lot like Perfuma screaming echoed through the speaker. “ _I-er-I think they’re awake now. I- yeah I should go. Yeah. Bye!”_ Scorpia dropped the call promptly. Bow and Glimmer, for their part, contained their laughter until they were sure they’d hung, Glimmer letting a high-pitched cackle before she fell back into the crook of Bow’s left arm.

“Well, at least they’re getting on now.” Bow said, earning a chuckle.

“They’re doing a lot more than _getting_ _on,_ ” Glimmer shot back with a snort. “Imagine pining for as long as those two were? I’d barely be able to function. I can’t imagine it!”

“No,” Bow said as he watched Glimmer settled into his arm, her soft pink hair brushing against his cheek as she sipped her gin, “I couldn’t either.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed this little nonsense!
> 
> Originally, I was going to have a cute Glimbow ending as well, but I think I want to do that as a separate fic instead. They deserve that, In my opinion.

**Author's Note:**

> I have actually written the essay about African Colonial Labour in question here, and *yes*, bazimyomwoto are related to that. If you wanna read the article Bow is reading leave a comment and I'll post a link to the JSTOR page (I couldn't find it anywhere else, sadly)
> 
> (Also, watch Taskmaster, it's amazing)


End file.
